Discerning the troll from the teacher in online spaces

I'm not sure about you, but when when I am posting online, we expect - or hope for - some engagement from the people we are aiming to be speaking with. Sometimes it's a little, sometimes it's a lot and I've learned that it comes in a variety of fLavOurS , in other words not always in ways we expect. As such, it's important that we build skills in discerning the what, who and how of engagement to sustain high level boundaries as well as staying opening to learning from others (if that is what we are wishing to do). I have personally been subject to both the engagement of trolls and teachers, and a TON in between, but for the purposes of this post, I wanted to highlight how we can be thoughtful and deliberate about the clear differences between the two. 

The troll is more interested in inciting a reaction from you than hearing what you've got to say. They may start off sounding interested, with a question which resembles curiosity, and they are not always easy to spot for this reason. I recommend responding to a curious-sounding question with a short response to test the waters, not giving over too much of your labour until you gather more information. Someone who is genuinely interested will be grateful for a response, and is likely to go on to ask a more specific question rather than doubling down, being defensive, or using language which gives you a strong impression that they are not really there to learn. Any hateful or violent language is a dead giveaway. Delete-block-forget.

Your teacher, is someone who wants to help you learn, who offers feedback in a way which invites you to do better. They care, remembering that no one owes us their time and energy, so they may not always comment in a way that's wrapped up in a glittery bow. In fact they may offer feedback in ways that really sting. This is called a "call in" - calling you to understand what you've communicated that is problematic, and how you can do better next time. Yes, it may raise uncomfortable feelings AND is a great litmus test for our willingness to learn. We might ask "am I more interested in getting it right, or doing the right thing?" Remember that our teachers are still learning too, and a "thankyou" is very very important if we want them to support us! This might be an important time to pause and get curious about what's coming up for us (this is why mindfulness skills are so critical) - are we feeling criticised? Exposed? Or (in addition!) are we feeling curious & keen to learn more? Taking the time to reflect on this as an opportunity will equip us with the skills we need to forge on courageously in a world where people will NOT always agree with us, where we can be steady in the face of a storm and recognise that our commitment to showing up in the world in service to our communities is only as good as our commitment to learning more about what holds us back.

May we be courageous in the face of authentic learning & growth
May we see our edges with steadiness
May we support each other in ways which elevate our collective mission of body liberation and food freedom for all.