Help! My kid has been sent home with a serve of diet culture; Your guide to keeping your sh*t together AND taking effective action
Many of us are familiar with this experience - we spend our working hours immersed in dismantling and combatting diet culture, only to come home to our own kids repeating some cracker of a comment from their teacher, or an activity which has “WELCOME TO DIET CULTURE” written all over it in the form of dichotomous food language, an activity about weighing or measuring or the more-subtle-but-just-as-harmful messages about “health.”
Our blood either freezes, or boils. We get that familiar hot-rising-in-the-chest-feeling.
No. Not my kid too. Not our school. This CANNOT be happening.
Communicating with schools can feel difficult. We might feel that we don’t want to be “that” parent, or lead to the teacher to feel embarrassed. We need to remember that what our kids learn in school matters, and that diet culture sneaks into the curriculum in ways which can be very, very harmful. It’s incredibly important that - alongside our very understandable hesitancy - we use our voice to speak up. Because it’s not just for the benefit of our kids, it’s for the benefit of everyone’s kids, and hopefully the broader school community too.
Tips for communicating with teachers and schools:
Take some time, but don’t wait.
Sending an email the minute your child tells you about something that happened that day might not be the best idea, nor leaving it for more than a week. A wise mentor once said to me “always sleep on a difficult conversation.”
Find out more information.
It’s always a good idea to gather your information together before entering into further communication. What you do next might depend on whether it was a comment, a conversation, an activity or something else altogether.
Be open minded and curious
You might say something like “my child came home and told me about (insert conversation/activity) and I’m hoping we can talk about it. Can you help me understand a little more about the conversation/activity for context?”
Be clear about your concerns.
We often want to “present evidence” before having a conversation with teachers and schools. I get it, AND in the absence of clear evidence for what we specifically want to address (see extensive list of research articles below….), these discussion are still very important to have. So we might then offer offer something like “I’m wondering if I can share with you some concerns I have about this….I know you care about the kids and I also understand this was just part of the curriculum…..you may be aware that my work involves (explain some of what you do) and I see teens and adults all the time who have been impacted by food/eating/body messages during their school years…… are you open to hearing more?”
You might then offer some information about:
Cognitive stages of learning and how younger children have a limited capacity to understand messages such as “everyday”, “sometimes” or dichotomous messages such as “healthy” and “unhealthy”
How well intentioned messages about health and bodies can be interpreted by children as “thinner children are healthier and larger children are unhealthier”
How “nutrition education” can sometimes be another way adults try to “convince” kids to eat in ways that WE think they “should” be eating, and this can go for their bodies too (we want them to look a particular way, often for well-intentioned reasons)
You might then offer some written material, or (if you’re feeling extra brave!) offer to spend time speaking with the school staff and parents about how to talk to kids about food, eating, nutrition and bodies without a side serve of diet culture.
Of course, there are no guarantees that we will be heard. And that’s ok. Being willing to have the conversation is a first step.
May we be kind AND may we be brave.
This guide has been compiled thanks to the very generous publications and resources developed by my Non Diet Approach colleagues from all over the world. I hope it helps equip you with the most effective next steps to take in supporting your kiddos to navigate ways in which diet culture, food and body shaming seeps in everyday life.
Programs for Schools
The Butterfly Foundation (Australia) Body Kind for Schools
The Butterfly Foundation Body Bright Program - Primary School Body Image Program (includes Body Positive Nutrition)
Communicating with Teachers & Schools:
An Open Letter to My Teacher, by Kelly Fullerton, The Curious Nutritionist
Please don’t teach my kids to diet: 5 Resources to give to teachers and schools by Anna Lutz, Sunnyside Up Nutrition
Flyer Optimizing Healthy Eating Habits in the Classrooom by Elisheva Dorfman and Dina Cohen via Sunnyside Up Nutrition
Lunchbox & Food Policing:
Let’s take the pressure out of our kids lunchboxes by Rachael Wilson, The Food Tree
The Solution to Healthy Eating WITHOUT Lunch Box Policing By Kelly Fullerton, The Curious Nutritionist
Mind Your Own Lunchbox, by Kelly Fullerton, The Curious Nutritionist
The current approach to teaching 'healthy eating' is full of good intention. However, the focus on weight and a narrow view of health must be broadened to include general well-being. Shame, restriction, and pressure does not motivate lifelong health behaviours and may, in fact, cause harm
From How to Replace Food Policing with a serving of kindness and trust, by The Food Tree
Inclusive Nutrition teaching, education, curriculum
Dietitians 4 Teachers - there are LOTS of fantastic resources here!
Resources Supporting Healthy Eating in Children - By Emilia Moulechkova & Nicole Spencer
The Language of Health Style Guide By AZ Health Zone
What kids need to know about Nutrition by Natalie Thompson
Body Positivity, Body Diversity
Body Image and Media Literacy in Education, by Tess Taylor (Dietitian, Teacher-in-training)
20 Diverse, Body Positive Books for Kids that you definitely need in your home by Jes Baker
How to Raise Your Kids in a Body Positive Way by Rebecca Scritchfield
11 Body Positive Childrens Books
Body Image - Teacher notes
Podcasts
Katherine Zovodni on The Mindful Dietitian Podcast
Body Kindness Podcast Episodes for Parents with Rebecca Scritchfield
Positive Nutrition Messaging in Schools with Anna Lutz & Katherine Zavodni on The Podclass
Weight Neutral Health Promotion in Schools with Shelly Russell-Mayhew on The Podclass
Facebook Group - RDs For Protective Nutrition Education:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/protectivenutred/
Other Resources:
How to Raise an Intuitive Eater by Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson
An extensive list of resources from Dr Katya Rowell, The Feeding Doctor
Healthy Bodies: Teaching Kids What they need to Know by Kathy Kater
Flyer Let’s Make Our Children's Schools and Activities Free of Diet Talk By Anna Lutz, Sunnyside Up Nutrition
This Dietitian Mum will not support her son to diet during home schooling. Or Ever. By Natalie Thompson, Delectable Dietetics
Dietitian Mum breaking school rules when it comes to food By Natalie Thompson, Delectable Dietetics
Helping Children Develop a Positive Relationship with Food: A Practical Guide for Early Years Professionals by Jo Cormack
Food Rewards Backfire, and what parents should do instead By Leslie Schilling
Child Nutrition: How Healthy Eating for Kids starts with you by Crystal Karges
A Mighty Girl - TONS of resources here!
Thankyou to Kate Wengier at Foost, and Kelly Fullerton at The Curious Nutritionist for the above guides.
Books to recommend:
Parents and Professionals
No Weigh!: A Teen’s Guide to Positive Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom
How to Raise an Intuitive Eater by Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson (due Jan 2022)
Your Childs Weight: Helping without Harming. Ellyn Satter
Secrets to Feeding a Healthy Family. Ellyn Satter
Positive Body Image for Kids, A Strengths Based Curriculum, by Ruth MacConville
Embody by Connie Sobczak
A Mighty Girl - lots of options here!
I’m Like, So Fat: Helping Your Teen Make Healthy Choices about Eating and Exercise in a Weight-Obsessed World, Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, Ph.D. (2005)
Real Kids Come in All Sizes, Kathy Kater, LICSW (2004).
101 Ways to Help Your Daughter Love Her Body by Brenda Lane Richardson and Elane Rehr (2001).
Younger Children (to age 8)
Your Body is Awesome by Sigrun Danielsdottir
Love Your Body by Jess Sanders
11 Body Positive Childrens Books
Shapesville by Andy Mills and Becky Osborn
Her Body Can by Kate Crenshaw, Ady Meschke
All Bodies Are Good Bodies by Charlotte Barkla
Some Girls by Nelly Thomas
Some Boys by Nelly Thomas
The Best Part of Me (Ewald)
It's ok to be different (Purtill)
How our Skin Sparkles (Singh)
Short Tall Doesn't Matter At All (Rozanes)
I love my nose (Selley)
The Best Part of Me (Ewald)
Rot the Cutest in the world (Clark)
I am Enough (Byers)
Lovely (Hong)
I'm Gonna Like me (Curtin & Cornell)
High five to the boys
Stories for boys who dare to be different (Ben brooks)
Max the champion (sean stockdale)
the five of us (Quentin Blake)
don’t call me special ( pat thomas)
All are welcome (Alexandra penfold)
Whoever you are (mem fox)
Be your own Man by Jessica Sanders
Older Children, Teens
Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens. Elyse Resch
No Weigh, A Teens Guide to Positive Body Image, Food and Emotional Wisdom. By Signe Darpinian, Wendy Sterling and Shelley Aggarwal
Savvy Girl: A Guide to Eating by Sumner Brooks and Brittany Deal
Research:
Hart, LM, Damiano, SR. Confident body, confident child: A randomized controlled trial evaluation of a parenting resource for promoting healthy body image and eating patterns in 2‐ to 6‐year old children
Hart, LM, Damiano, SR. Confident body, confident child: Evaluation of a universal parenting resource promoting healthy body image and eating patterns in early childhood—6‐ and 12‐month outcomes from a randomized controlled trial
Hazzard V et al. Intuitive eating longitudinally predicts better psychological health and lower use of disordered eating behaviors: findings from EAT 2010–2018
Liechty JM, Clarke J. Perceptions of early body image socialization in families: Exploring knowledge, beliefs, and strategies among mothers of preschoolers
Levine, M, Smolak, L. The role of protective factors in the prevention of negative body image and disordered eating
Kater K, Levine M. An elementary school project for developing healthy body image and reducing risk factors for unhealthy and disordered eating
Lowe, MR et al Body concerns and BMI as predictors of disordered eating and body mass in girls: An 18-year longitudinal investigation
Satter EM. Eating Competence: definition and evidence for the Satter Eating Competence Model. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39:S142-S153.
Satter E. Hierarchy of food needs. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39(Suppl):S187-188.
Satter EM. Nutrition education with the Satter Eating Competence Model. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39 (suppl):S189-S194.
Lohse B, Satter E, Horacek T, Gebreselassie T, Oakland MJ. Measuring eating competence: psychometric properties and validity of the ecSatter Inventory. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39(5 Suppl):S154-166.
Stotts JL, Lohse B. Reliability of the ecSatter Inventory as a tool to measure eating competence. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39(5 Suppl):S167-170.
Psota TL, Lohse B, West SG. Associations between eating competence and cardiovascular disease biomarkers. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39(5 Suppl):S171-178.
Lohse B, Bailey RL, Krall JS, Wall DE, Mitchell DC. Diet quality is related to eating competence in cross-sectional sample of low-income females surveyed in Pennsylvania. Appetite. 2012;58:645-650.
Quick V, Shoff S, Lohse B, White A, Horacek T, Greene G. Relationships of eating competence, sleep behaviors and quality, and overweight status among college students. Eat Behav. 2015;19:15-19.
Greene GW, White AA, Hoerr SL, et al. Impact of an online healthful eating and physical activity program for college students. Am J Health Promot. 2012;27(2):e47-58.
Clifford D, Linda A, Keeler LA, Gray K, Steingrube A, Neyman Morris M. Weight attitudes predict eating competence among college students. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal. 2010;39:184-193.
Credit: Kelly Fullerton, The Curious Nutritionist